The Two Week Theory
by annagray
Summary: It's the biggest gossip on girl's night; Wally West is back in town. Too bad Artemis isn't keen on the idea of breaking The Two Week Theory and giving him a second chance.


**It's the biggest gossip on girl's night; Wally West is back in town. Too bad Artemis isn't keen on the idea of breaking The Two Week Theory and giving him a second chance.**

**This has been a remarkably good week for me! I know I promised this Friday, but I went to the boy's Sectionals for swimming and I got home way later than I thought. I couldn't post it Saturday either because I was swimming in girls Sectionals. My relay, the 400 Free, qualified for Districts! Which I'm so happy about, I wasn't sure if we would qualify, but I gave a rousing pep talk and we dropped 5 seconds from our previous time last weekend! Also I got accepted into my top choice for college. I'm so relieved! To top it all off I actually met a deadline, I told myself I would post this weekend and while it wasn't up on Friday, it is up now! So enjoy!**

**This is dedicated to the following three people:**

**To my ex-boyfriend: I'm sorry our five month (actually only two weeks when I decided we weren't dating anymore, but didn't care enough to break up with you) relationship didn't work out. Maybe if you weren't friends with my brother, maybe if you weren't so full of yourself, and maybe if you didn't go around blabbing to my brother what we did on our dates (because really it isn't any of his concern) we could've gotten back together, but my answer was no then and it's still no. I'd say I'm our relationship didn't work out, except I'm not really sorry.**

**P.S. Stop drawing penises on my car, it wasn't funny when we were dating and it isn't funny now.**

**To my Jess: You're the real inspiration for this story. I'm sorry you're past two relationships didn't work out (I told you they were both douches, but you should be proud that the words 'I told you so' were never uttered from my mouth after the relationships ended), you should know that those two two week relationships inspired this story. I'm glad that you're happy in your current relationship and that it's actually lasted more than two weeks!**

**P.S. Tell your boyfriend to stop smacking my butt, it's creepy and I don't like it when he smacks your butt either (especially in front of the whole team).**

**P.P.S. Seriously, we took a vote, the WHOLE swim team wants him to cut it out.**

**To the Lifeguard: Your two weeks start now.**  
**Huge thanks to the adorable Forever Frosted, **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Young Justice or Cartoon Network. If I did the show would never be cancelled.**

* * *

**The Two Week Theory**  
As the door opens to their small two bedroom apartment, Zatanna looks up from rummaging in the closet in the hall. With just a glance at Artemis' face she asks, "Bad day?"

A thump resonates from Artemis landing on the couch as her muffled screams echo around the tiny apartment. Yes, yes it was a bad day. A very bad day.

"If you need candy or something, I bought marshmallows, since you know, you seem to go on sweet binges every other day." The temptation of candy does nothing for Artemis as she continues to lie across the couch. "Hey get up. I need your help, we're hosting a sleepover tonight." Zatanna says as she's reenters the unknowns of the closet. Because really who knows what's inside there, they haven't opened it since the day the moved in.

"What? A sleepover?" Artemis says incredulously finally lifting her head from the couch to look at Zatanna crouched inside the closet, "You invited the girls over for a sleepover?"

"Yup, pretty sure that's what I just said," Zatanna says shoving blankets and pillows into Artemis' hands, "Go put these in the living room."

"Why?" She asks staring at her loaded arms.

Zatanna gives her an incredulous look, "Do _you_ want to look for the sleeping bags?" Artemis looks from the blankets in her hands to the contents of the closet surrounding Zatanna.

"No."

"That's what I thought. Now go put these in the living room because everyone will be here in like an hour and we need to get all set up." Zatanna says continuing to ransack through the closet, "Hey have you seen the sleeping bags?"

"Ugh, I need a drink." Artemis says before letting everything tumble out of her arms and marching down the hallway to the kitchen.

* * *

"Zatanna!" M'gann squeals when the door opens.

"M'gann, come in!" She takes in M'gann's appearance as she ushers her inside the apartment. "Cute pjs"

"Thanks, so who else is here? I brought cookies too, fresh out of the oven! I'm not too early am I?" M'gann asks hopefully as she spots Artemis on the kitchen counter, wine glass already in hand. "Oh no, I'm not late am I?" She asks, the beginning of embarrassment floods her cheeks.

"No, you're right on time" She laughs, "Artemis just likes to start earlier than everyone else."

"Hey, I've had a bad day okay. I'm allowed to have one glass of wine before everyone else." Artemis announces justifying her actions. "Two", she says noticing her glass is almost empty. "I'm allowed to have two glasses of wine before anyone else gets here." Pouring herself another glass.

M'gann drops her things in the middle of the living room floor, coming over to pour her own glass, "You want to talk about it?" She asks, meaning well as the good friend peeks out from under the psychologist inside of her.

Artemis releases an unflattering grumble similar to "no", as M'gann slides onto the counter next to her.

"Wanna hang out with your girlfriends, drink some wine and forget about it?" She asks, hoping Artemis isn't in too bad of a mood to hang out with the girls.

A smile graces Artemis' face for the first time since she left Dick 'the Troll' Grayson's office, "That sounds like a great plan." They share a hug and Artemis apologizes for being a 'grumbling butt'.

A series of knocks interrupts the moment, and Barbara's yelling about snow and slow people can be heard from the other side of the apartment door. Zatanna walks in and notices the smiling friends; she nods her head toward the door. "Glad you aren't sulking anymore, your turn to get the door."

Artemis barely turns the handle before a burst of cool air hits her face and a redhead topples into her. This is the second time today a redhead has tripped and fallen on top of her. Artemis isn't even mad though (well she is mad) she's just glad that it isn't some redheaded pest (although Barbara does like to pester people for information) that she used to date (sorry Babs. Never. Going. To. Happen.)

* * *

"What happened next?" M'gann asks, a blush covering her cheeks due to the raunchy story.

"Well, I told him that if that's what he was into than fine, but I told him he should probably never calls me again."

All six girls burst out into peals of laughter.

"Oh please, that's not even that bad!" Raquel says between giggles.

"Oh yeah, then top it. What's the worst date you've ever been on?" Karen says.

Raquel's tough girl attitude suddenly flies out the window as she pales at the question.

"Come on" Artemis smirks knowingly, "You mentioned it now you have to tell us."

"Yeah," Barbara giggles, "You have too."

The rest of the girls chime in and Raquel finally agrees to tell the story of her worst date _ever_.

"Okay, okay. It was like three years ago."

"Oh no! It's Jeffery isn't it?" Artemis bursts out laughing, "It is Jeffrey!" Raquel's face steadily grows red and she lets out a squeak that confirms Artemis' previous accusation. "Is that why he won't look me in the eye?"

The girls send questionable looks back and forth from Artemis to Raquel.

Raquel grinds her teeth in frustration, "Artemis set us up on a blind date, and he was cute and nice enough, you know, so we set up more dates and...Oh god it's so bad." She puts her head in her hands. "Okay, so everything was good we hadn't really done anything intimate and it was like our fourth date or something and we sat at a booth making out. He said he had to go to the bathroom and then like two minutes later I get a picture from him...and, Oh God, it was his...his...he." She looks a little lost before she blurts out, "he sent me a picture of his penis."

"He sent you a picture of his penis?" Karen asks giggling as Barbara rolls around on the ground unable to control her laughter.

"Jeff did this? Jeffrey Thomas the kid I work with?"

"It gets worse." Raquel says with a stiff laugh. "I'm just sitting there 'like what the hell' and he comes rushing back to the booth saying 'Oh my god. Can't believe I just did that. I just ruined our whole relationship what was I thinking?' and then he goes on to say that he didn't even mean to send that to me, he sent it to the wrong person!"

"Oh. My. God. He didn't?"

Raquel confirms it her face bright red.

Finally she calms down enough to laugh along with her friends. They stop to catch their breath before looking at each other and start cracking up again until their laughter slowly dies down at the end of Raquel's story.

"Eww that's disgusting!" A new voice shrieks. Everyone's heads swivel to the open window. They had opened the window to let some cool winter air in, not a nosy high schooler.

"Cassie! Go to bed." Artemis demands.

"You guys are really loud, I can't get to sleep." Cassie shrugs from her perch on the fire escape. "Plus, you guys made a fort." she says observantly.

"It's called the cave." Barbara's head peeks out from beneath the blankets.

"You named your fort? What are you guys five?"

M'gann giggles, "No, just drunk!"

"Don't you have school tomorrow?" Artemis asks trying to get rid of her snooping neighbor.

"Don't you have work tomorrow?" She shoots back with her hands on her hips.

"No tomorrow is Saturday." Barbara rolls her eyes at Artemis.

"Oh, right." She glares down at her wine like it's the reason she's asking stupid questions, which it kind of is. "Cassie don't drink, it's bad for you, okay?"  
"This is another 'do as I say, not as I do philosophy' isn't it?"

"Yes," She sighs "Yes it is."

"You seem to have a lot of those, y'know." Cassie shivers as a breeze blows through the window, "Can I come in now?"

Artemis debates whether or not it would be a good idea to let the high schooler inside the apartment, but Zatanna beats her to the punch.  
"Sure, you can come in!" And all the other girls chime in agreement.

"So, do you still sneak out at night to meet up with that boyfriend?" Zatanna starts off looking for some gossip.

"He was never my boyfriend!" Zatanna pouts a little.

"You're no fun. You're just like Artemis and her romantic endeavors. 'We aren't dating.' and 'We're just friends.' and my personal favorite 'I refuse to let myself get emotionally attached to a boy because I don't want to get hurt.'

"Was that supposed to be me?" Zatanna smiles and Artemis sputters out, "I do not sound like that!"

Barbara gives Cassie a pointed look, "You and Artemis sound exactly like that. Hey don't roll your eyes at me!"  
Cassie continues to rolls her eyes anyway, "Whatever. We were never dating."

"Speaking of ex-boyfriends,"

"Zatanna! How many times do I have to tell you? He wasn't my boyfriend!"

Zatanna ignores her outburst, "Wally West showed up at the apartment last night." Zatanna exclaims.

All eyes turn to Artemis as she sputters on the sip of wine she has just taken from her nearly empty wine glass.

Ignoring the burning sensation, Artemis downs the rest of her alcohol before saying, "What? Here? He came here?" and then after a pause Artemis hisses, "Troll!"

"You don't look surprised that he's back in town." M'gann points out. "Is Wally West the reason you had such a bad day at work today?"

"Who's Wally West?" Cassie questions, feeling out of the loop.  
She sighs looking down at her empty glass "I'm going to need a whole lot more wine before this night ends."

Raquel grins, "Honey, I don't think the nights even started yet." Artemis just groans in response.

After two more glasses of wine she starts talking. Artemis is no lightweight, but even with a little alcohol in her system she feels a little bit freer, like sitting down with a beer and watching the world and its problems will make her own problems. However when you're with a nosy high school teenager and a room full of women who are just as intoxicated as you are and far more nosy, your problems don't disappear, they get magnified.

She squeaks, blurts everything out, like that loose floorboard in her bedroom that squeaks when she steps on it. In her defense Barbara really did step on her. Although that's not why she squeaks, she squeaks because the alcohol in her system has loosened her tongue, just like that stupid loose floorboard. Stupid board.

The theory is a theory, not a law. At some point in time, the Two Week Theory stopped being a joke from high school and started being _the_ rule that she lives by. The Two Week Theory allows her to ignore her commitment issues, manipulating the relationship so that if one thing goes wrong, or even if things go too right, she ends it. It's an exit strategy that's been perfected over the years. No one seems to meet her expectations. No one, except Wallace West.

**Author Note:**

**Review! Tell me what you liked, what you didn't like.**

**Raquel's traumatizing story can be found somewhere on the site myveryworstdate . com.**

**As a reminder I'm looking for one-shot prompts or requests, all ideas are welcome!**


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